When I explain my OTP to my friends
you always gotta keep your opponent on their toes. unless your opponent is a ballerina, that is where they are most powerful
So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.
But why the last one though
what am I not getting
I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years
Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)
After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.
One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description)
She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.
Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.
Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..
And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.
Then you should tell him the third one is really transphobic and kind of terrible.
I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT PEOPLE THIRST FOLLOW ME.
But what about my charming personality and lack of social skills :c
Okay now you guys are just playing with my emotions.
A challenger has appeared.
this is my linen closet, *shows you some towels*
and this is my lenin closet *shows you communist propaganda*
"where’s my christian grey????” hopefully locked up in prison
when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now
You know what I want the next Disney Princess to be?
*soprano cackling in the distance*
the game is evolving too quickly
Me: Joins tumblr for fun
Me: starts to critically analyze almost every aspect of modern society
follow my blog, it’s gluten free
So i have this giant pencil right
I think we all know where this is going.
the amount of people saying that they were expecting me to shove it up my ass is alarming