Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.
FINALLY SOMEONE FUCKING DID IT
This is perfect.
I’m so glad he’s guarding our galaxy
For my first act as president, I will ban the force-feeding of broccoli across the entire nation. Thank you. Vote for me plz.
seeing your post on your dash
Video: Nick Offerman Recites Some Profound Shower Thoughts [gifs via]
I saw this commercial after staying up all night and all I could think of was to do this
llama (by cjamk)
oh my god
is it data or data
is it route or route
is it caramel or caramel
is it either or eitheris it read or read
is it lead or lead
Maybe its Maybelline
I hate how any English speaker knows exactly what’s happening here.
"no homo" I whisper as I look at my garden of pea plants. The progeny had expressed a 1:2:1 ratio of phenotypes. I am Gregor Mendel.
This joke is lethal
i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass